Games You Might Find on a Republican’s iPad


With elections right around the corner, we thought it would be fun to pit republicans against democrats in a less traditional way. Instead of arguing about world events and taxes in a debate, we’re jumping right in with this list of games we think republicans love.

Monopoly Hotels (Free) Republicans love to buy up property. What better way to feel like a hotel mogul without the risk involved in real estate with this economy than with Monopoly Hotels. This isn’t a traditional game of Monopoly. Players construct, employ, and manage hotels in familiar districts like Baltic Avenue and Park Place. You can even manage utilities with the Electric Company. Players build rooms specifically tailored to their guests’ desires. Add a bakery for in-house cupcakes or a riding stable for the visiting equestrian lovers. Learn how to rake in the big bucks from Uncle Moneybags and don’t worry about the government trying to take your hard-earned money. There is no Income Tax in this game.

Obama Golf ($0.99) Why would republicans want to play a game of golf as their arch nemesis? You don’t even get to compete against the President. You are the President. This game pokes fun at wasteful spending and environmental issues. Republicans will revel in the inconsistency of a world leader who speaks about cleaning up the environment, yet flies around the country, adding massive amounts of carbon emissions to the, already unhealthy air. The fiscally conservative can also sit back with a sense of self-satisfaction knowing that the President is hemorrhaging taxpayer money with every trip to a new golfing location. Oh, it is a decent game of virtual golf, too. Republicans love to golf, don’t they?

Spazcon HD (Free) Republicans are always pointing to the American Dream when it comes to picking oneself up “by the bootstraps” and getting to a better place in life. With hard work and a desire to move up in the world, we are supposed to be able to find wealth and happiness. Reality may not come wrapped in such a perfect package, but you can go from data entry clerk to president with this simple puzzle game. Players help Barry climb the corporate ladder by drawing line that he follows. Collect cups of coffee along the way for extra points (and high blood pressure).

Finger Pointing For iPad ($0.99) This app is appropriate for both democrats and republicans. Both are seasoned pros when it comes to finger pointing. This app doesn’t have a political alliance. It is a simple puzzle game that lets you lay blame elsewhere by pointing fingers. Point the correct number of fingers at the correct number. All fingers on the board must be facing a number. All numbers must have the correct number of fingers pointed at them. Once you’ve played this game, you might think twice about blaming someone else for things that go wrong. It is just too much effort to point fingers all the time.

Millionaire Tycoon ($0.99) While being a hotel mogul would be nice, you could make even more money by purchasing real estate from all over the world. Republicans love money and millionaire-ness is just about as money as you can get. This board game style adventure mixes the property buying of Monopoly with life-controlling aspects of SIMS. You can trade on the stock market, build and upgrade businesses, buy cars, and more. Play against friends in pass-and-play multiplayer, or practice your cutthroat attitude against a computer opponent. You’ll be the richest man in America in no time at all. Too bad all of your hard work won’t pay off in the real world.

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